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Men Need to Show Up for Themselves First

Men Need to Show Up for Themselves First

By Felix Hernandez, Advocacy and Fatherhood Program Manager

When men take care of and have healthy connection to themselves, they’re able to show up for their community in positive ways. Men’s Health Month in June is a time to raise awareness about the health challenges men face and the self-care strategies they can implement to live longer and better lives.

Prioritize Your Health

On an airplane, you are always told to put on your emergency oxygen mask first, before you help others with theirs. This is a great example of how caring for yourself first will give you room to show up for your family, friends, and community as needed. We all know the narratives of “push through the pain,” “sleep when you’re dead,” “walk it off,” etc. Fulfilling those narratives forces men to ignore the signals their body communicates that ask them to slow down, until eventually the body gives in to exhaustion, injury, and long-term health consequences. 

The following strategies from MyHealthfinder can help men begin their lifelong journey of well-being and healing so they can show up to be the pillars of a vibrant and healthy community:

  • See a doctor for regular checkups even if you feel healthy. This is important because some diseases and health conditions do not have symptoms at first. Plus, seeing a doctor will give you a chance to learn more about your health.
  • Eat healthy and get active
  • If you drink alcohol, drink only in moderation
  • Quit smoking
  • Know your family’s health history
  • Get screening tests to check for health problems before you have symptoms
  • Make sure you are up to date on your vaccines (shots)

Healthy Men Bring Up Healthy Kids

Families and communities thrive with the support of kind, compassionate men who have created healthy habits to sustain a long, fulfilling life. Healthy men can be active, engaged fathers and father-figures, which are essential for bringing up well-adjusted children who will then grow into healthy adults themselves.

Here are 10 ways that fatherhood involvement positively affects children, from The Fatherhood Project:

  1. Fathers and infants can be equally as attached as mothers and infants. When both parents are involved with the child, infants are attached to both parents from the beginning of life.
  2. Father involvement is related to positive child health outcomes in infants, such as improved weight gain in preterm infants and improved breastfeeding rates.
  3. Father involvement using authoritative parenting (loving and with clear boundaries and expectations) leads to better emotional, academic, social, and behavioral outcomes for children.
  4. Children who feel a closeness to their father are: twice as likely as those who do not to enter college or find stable employment after high school, 75% less likely to have a teen birth, 80% less likely to spend time in jail, and half as likely to experience multiple depression symptoms.
  5. Fathers occupy a critical role in child development. Father absence hinders development from early infancy through childhood and into adulthood. The psychological harm of father absence experienced during childhood persists throughout the life course.
  6. The quality of the father-child relationship matters more than the specific amount of hours spent together. Non-resident fathers can have positive effects on children’s social and emotional well-being, as well as academic achievement and behavioral adjustment.
  7. High levels of father involvement are correlated with higher levels of sociability, confidence, and self-control in children. Children with involved fathers are less likely to act out in school or engage in risky behaviors in adolescence.
  8. Children with actively involved fathers are: 43% more likely to earn A’s in school and 33% less likely to repeat a grade than those without engaged dads.
  9. Father engagement reduces the frequency of behavioral problems in boys while also decreasing delinquency and economic disadvantage in low-income families.
  10. Father engagement reduces psychological problems and rates of depression in young women.

Father Child Attachment Program

At Mary’s Center, we envision a world where all people are safe and healthy, and to get there, everyone needs caring support, including men. All men should be able to reach out to licensed, trustworthy professionals to initiate and sustain regular well-being conversations to address and overcome challenges and concerns.

That is the purpose of our Father Child Attachment program, a family support program providing support to fathers and father-figures in DC with children under five to navigate the challenges of parenthood. If you want to learn more, please reach out to Felix Hernandez at fhernandez@maryscenter.org.

On behalf of the Father Child Attachment program, we offer our well wishes this Men’s Health Month to all men and the communities who love and hold us accountable. Take care of yourself and stay healthy!